Sega Bingo Galaxy

When I saw this, I thought it was a relic of the ancients.

It looks like an image of some pure-spirited messiah bringing love to an innocent time – a time when it was known that the true purpose of videogames was going to be replicating bingo.

But I was mistaken. Bingo Galaxy is from 2007 – not ancient at all – and in fact at the cutting edge of bingo simulation. By 2007, videogames were mainly used for sinful, repetitive murder-swaps with foreign teenagers, but Sega, bless them, kept alive the teachings of bingo, passing them down through the generations.

In the beginning (of the 1970s) there was Group Bingo. And Group Bingo begat World Bingo. And World Bingo begat Bingo Circus. And Bingo Circus begat Bingo Party. And Bingo Party begat Bingo Party Multicard. And Bingo Party Multicard begat Bingo Party Phoenix. And Bingo Party Phoenix begat Bingo Planet. And Bingo Planet begat Bingo Party Splash. And Bingo Party Splash begat begat Bingo Party Splash SP. And Bingo Party Splash SP begat Bingo Parade. And Bingo Parade begat Bingo Party Pirates. And Bingo Party Pirates begat…

…Bingo Galaxy. Truly we are blessed to be in its presence.